I miss her to this day
Our first date, we met for dinner. She looked amazing and was a great conversationalist. We laughed a lot, a huge deal for me. Laughter uplifts us and reveals a personality better than anything I know.
On our second date, we went to a great restaurant with live music. She grooved to it, we danced, her smile was dazzling & it stuck around, even though I’m no way as good a dancer as she. It became obvious we were getting hooked on each other.
Here’s the event that captured my heart. We’re in Dallas which is very diverse. There are 33 languages spoken in this city of two million, folks of every possible skin color. I love that. Mixed race dating is not uncommon. But one day around lunch time, we visited an antique store in a rather gritty white neighborhood. However, there was a clean, decent looking restaurant across the street and we went in for lunch. It was then we started getting stares.
Walking to our table, there was a wall of eyes. I was offended for her, for us. I demanded of one glassy eyed couple, “What are you staring at!” My lady took my arm and pulled me away. She said to me in a calm, non-critical voice, “Skip. They don’t know any better.”
I remember getting teary eyed. I was angrily thinking of racism, she was thinking of simply being unaware. I look the low road, she took the high.
We’d spend weekends at my place and enjoy the many progressive neighborhoods in the city. The sex was otherworldly. We always feel asleep snuggled up to each other. She smelled wonderful.
What Drove Us Apart?
Religion. I’m not religious, having been raised Catholic and leaving it in my early twenties. She’s Baptist and devoted to it. She had her own views on sex, dancing and sharing wine with me, but our most fundamental beliefs were in serious jeopardy.
She wouldn’t let me meet her two young children and continue our relationship unless we went to church together. I had two colossally intense sets of pain to choose from, and still question my decision. Yet I’d have questioned my decision even if I’d stayed with her. It was a no-win.
I only have these two take-aways.(1) Look deep down, way inside yourself, with an open mind for potential racist thoughts. If you find any, it’s past time — WAY past time to heal them. (2) Consider mixed race dating. And ,,, if you live in a conservative town or city, DON’T STARE.