Categorizing Men, Revised

All sizes, colors, shapes, heights, ages, professions. Shitheads to Evolved.

Photo by Leilani Angel on Unsplash

Disclaimer: I’m a demographer and am trying to stratify American males. I can’t suggest fool-proof personal security measures for women. I’m also not trying to man’splain but simply distribute information.

“Guys”

The term itself is meaningless. It just means “men.” To me, a man with high standards, I define them as men I can talk to, reason with, laugh with, and with whom I can discuss life in general. Rarely dangerous, usually successful, reasonably sane, capable of understanding gender differences up to a point. The “guys” I know, have known, are good, decent people. Most are family men, perhaps a little older.

For example, guys at my gym: I don’t know their families, never been to their homes, never see them away from the gym. We’ll talk about our kids. We joke around, pull each others’ leg, tease each other, talk about our careers. We treat women at the gym courteously and invite them to join the conversation. They make fun of us and we love it.

Deviants

Often I’m embarrassed to be a man because of these creatures. Sick. Many do awful things, horrible, lewd, abusive, criminal, cruel, capricious animalistic acts. Gang bangers. Lots in prison. To be avoided at all costs by everyone anywhere anytime.

Specialized Working Men

Vendors to homeowners. Need licensure. Plumbers, appliance repairmen, carpenters. Usually they’re there to work on an issue, and move on to the next appointment. I respect them in that they’re not afraid of work. Blue collar professionals. A plumber, electrician. Specialists. Men, and women, who know air conditioning and heating. My brother’s GF has this skillset.

Upscale Younger Men

Got a nice gig, make a few bucks, decent in appearance, single and want to mingle. Young, often educated. You see a lot of them. They date or want to date, want a GF, want to fool around. Single women know more about them than anyone. I wish I knew a young, single woman to write this paragraph for me. But it’s okay. I’ve been one of these men. Not dangerous. 20-somethings, and this is the point in life is where the fact that women mature faster, becomes evident.

Execs & Suits

Successful “white collar” men, 30-ish and older, more mature, or not. Got some bucks. Got influence. Can be arrogant and overly impressed with themselves.

Non-stop articles in news media about suits hitting on women. Day after day after day. They’re in a position of power and can help or hurt women. Frankly, some are well dressed degenerates. Married but available and not hiding it. Inequality is here largely because of them. Cuomo comes to mind. Watch your back.

Uber Rich Includes Freaks

Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein. Sleaze. Their money buys them whatever they want. Sometimes, as with these two, they’re abusive, sick barbarians.

I confess to knowing not a single one but I know they’re out there. It’s glaringly evident they use money & power to subjugate women and get away with it. They constantly pop up in news media for their affairs and abuse of women, get sued, and lay low. For a while.

The most elegant of the super rich is a woman, MacKenzie Scott, ex-wife of Jeff Bozo, I mean Bezos. A wonderful, generous, private, kind, down-to-earth fine lady. Totally unpretentious. Jeff Bozo would have been a flop without her.

Real Men

It doesn’t mean jack shit to me. I don’t know what it means. I find it humorous. Strutting, strong, square-jawed, kind of dumb and outdated. If someone has to say he’s a ‘real man,’ he isn’t. What it says, is STAY AWAY. A man saying this to me? Asshole, confused, low self-esteem.

Fake Nice Men

Exactly what the words say. Attractive, maybe fawning, adulatory, overly polite with vacuous eyes. They probably have some bucks. When you look closely, they’re shallow and conniving.

Evolved Men

Men who understand that women have been maligned for thousands of years and have no intention of joining other ranks of men. Women, I’ve been told, are suspicious of them since they say and act what’s important to them. For better or worse, I’m in these ranks. Many will be married since they are genuine, not angelic — we’re all human — but authentic and sincere.

Decent Men

They come in all sizes, professions, levels of education and experience, ethnicities and stations in life. I know a lot of them. Rich, medium and poor.

The man who owns the dry cleaners I use. Hard working entrepreneur, successful, kind in University of Texas (excellent system) reliable and honest. They guy who owns the shop where I bring my car. Skilled, straight up, conscientious, genuine, a family man. My IT guy. Smart, capable, performs an excellent service, has three kids. I call these men “the salt of the earth.” My grandfather, a ship captain, loving and lovable, demonstrated to me at a young age what it’s like to be a good man.

In Closing

Let’s face it. All human creatures, to use shrink terminology, are idiosyncratic. They have bumps and bruises. Life affects each one differently. Take little at face value. Seek depth in whomever you become interested in.

(100% of all funds received as payment for Medium essays are donated to battered women’s shelters in Dallas Texas)

Published poet, pilot. Loves humor, quantum physics, all things artistic and sensual. TX liberal, Cajun, mentors at-risk kids, seeks equality for everyone.