If he uses the term, like lots of men, call him out on it. Ask him what is it that makes him so nice.
If someone ASKED me if I’m a “nice guy,” I’d tell them the truth: yeah but it depends. I do believe I’m worthy of consideration by a woman, and would describe myself as animated, thoughtful and funny. But a nice guy? That phrase has way too many other connotations. I DON’T like it. It’s shallow, says nothing, a catch-all phrase when someone has nothing else to say. Please, set your sights higher.
Merriam-Webster defines nice as “Polite, kind, agreeable.” That covers a lot of ground. What specifically does this mean when an individual guy labels himself “nice?” Would he help an older lady cross a busy street? Does he share his jellybeans? WHAT?
It’s an overworked term on dating sites. Nice how? If we make arrangements to meet, what if I’m running late? Really, call him out on it. Not rude or caustically, but you deserve answers.
I’m also coming at this from the perspective of father of a daughter. The young guy she married is not just nice, he’s extraordinary. YOU should have that in mind for any guy you’d spend time with.
So Nice = Polite, Kind, Agreeable.
POLITE: It means he has manners. He’d want your opinion, he’d open a door for you (if you let him), he’d wear his best when he spends time with you. In short, He should respect you.
KIND: Synonyms for ‘kind’ are: compassionate, affectionate, gentle. Who can find anything wrong with THAT? I just might approve of this guy! JK.
AGREEABLE: pleasant, proper, congenial. Easy to get along with. Not an ego freak. Your friends would like him. That kind of guy.
Are We All in Agreement Here?
I can’t imagine any woman having problems with polite, kind & agreeable. Of course there are other considerations that are personal for you. This is a good starting point.
Speaking as a divorced guy, these would be the minimum requirements I’d expect from a lady who I may want to spend time with. When people have high standards, it’s easy to see.
All of us should have them, and we shouldn’t deviate from them for ourselves or others.
Thanks for the read. For another perspective on dating without dating sites, check this short read:
You Don’t Need a Dating Site
You have all you need, you just don’t know how to use it.
100% 0f all funds received as payment for these essays are donated to battered women’s shelters in Dallas Texas